Arguments and disagreements happen in everyone's family. A family feud is when arguments and disagreements get out of hand and are blown way out of proportion and the rest of the family is dragged into the argument. Most of the time, what started the feud can be rectified before the entire family is drawn in, causing anger and resentment and it is passed down to the next generation. A misunderstanding between family members that are too stubborn or pigheaded to admit they were wrong and apologize, usually causes a feud. They simply let the disagreement fester and, after a while, it starts to cause resentment.
Soon afterwards, the fighting and feuding starts to get ugly. The parties' involved start to lash out at everyone and the fighting continues. All to often, the family member who are feuding ask for the opinion of other family members. This is what draws the rest of the family into the feud. A family feud can divide an otherwise happy family into bitter enemies.
It only takes two people to start a family feud. One of the harshest realities of family fights is that the children suffer for it the most. They do not understand how the feud originated and are raised in an atmosphere of intense anger and, sometimes, even hate. This can have a detrimental affect on them. It can stunt their development and affect their ability to feel any other emotion besides aggression. Perhaps the worst part of a family dispute is that all of these negative emotions can be completely avoided by simply sitting down and calmly discussing what caused the rift to begin with.
If you have kindness and compassion and a level head, you will never have a family feud. Once a family battle has been started, it can be difficult to end. Both sides feel that they are right and sometimes making amends takes time.
It is important to get everything out in the open, discuss the problem without shouting and fighting. Self-discipline will be crucial. Leave those who were drawn into the feud out of the discussions, sometimes they can just add fuel to the fire. There are times when the feuding parties cannot resolve their differences on their own.
This is when a mediator will be very helpful. A mediator is a non-involved party that can listen to both sides and come up with a solution that is acceptable by both parties. Sometimes this can take a long time because there is so much animosity between the parties. Most of the time the parties want to resolve their problems, but are too stubborn to do so. Summary: Family feuds often cause pain and confusion for the younger members.
It is healthy to argue once in a while, but holding a grudge is not. Always settle your disagreements before they become out of control and affect every member of your family.
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